Common behavioural traits to look out for, identify and determine if someone in your life is toxic.
I briefly mentioned in my last post, ‘Am I Good Enough‘ , that I will touch upon a few characteristics that make a person toxic. The type of person that you do not want involved in your life. I hope this list is helpful as we look at 5 common traits that are synonymous with toxicity.
Manipulation. You are being deceived. You don’t have control over a certain situation, because your perception on the matter has unknowingly shifted. They essentially play mind games on you. You may feel like you are in control, but this isn’t the case. A common way a toxic person will manipulate you is psychologically, through gas-lighting. For example, you could be recalling a incident you went though, and this person will make you question if the events you’re describing even took place. It’s abusive and causes self-doubt and low self esteem.
Judgement. They will subconsciously and consciously criticise you. You will be fed backhanded compliments and be made to feel like what you do isn’t good enough. This ties back into manipulation, where you begin to question whether or not the choices you make are the right ones. Trying to adhere to this persons standards, when you shouldn’t have to in the first place.
Does not apologise. This person will never feel like they are in the wrong. Always playing the victim. Your feelings may be hurt and you might suffer, but it won’t be acknowledged. Reaching out to this person with an issue you may have against them, will also prove difficult. They won’t hold any accountability, or reason to feel guilt for their actions.
Not supportive. This person will not be there for you like you are for them. One-sided. When they want support and a listening ear, you are willing and sympathetic. It’s a shame this isn’t reciprocated. They seem quite selfish and distant up until they want something from you. No equality in your relationship, just an imbalance.
Passive aggression. This toxic trait will have the person struggle to communicate with you. They are indirectly being aggressive. You sense their hostility so in turn, end up feeling uncomfortable around them. Unsure on the right words to say, you’re ‘walking on egg shells’, because one wrong word could be detrimental. No matter how positive you are with them, their bitterness is evident. They will choose to play the victim, make excuses and end up taking advantage of you.
Do any of these traits sound familiar? Do not fear. You possess the power to remove people from your life that do not add to your happiness. However I understand it can be difficult to do so, especially when the toxic person in question is in your family, or is close to you. There are ways to try and intervene with someone who is toxic. Engaging others to try and communicate your concerns. Finding ways to understand the situation from their perspective might be a better idea than completely distancing yourself. But then again, it might not be. Look into all options before taking serious steps. *Please take my advice with a pinch of salt, any critical situations should be looked into and monitored accordingly.*
But remember to always protect your energy.
Writing this list opened my eyes to some characteristics I was concerned to find I saw in myself! I think it’s always good to take a step back to try and realign yourself with your morals. Figure out what doesn’t feel right and what can be changed or improved on. Everyday is a new day for growth and positive thinking. Self reflect and be as present as you can.
-Seraphina
Words By Seraphina 